The difference between a good parent and the best parent

In reading a post tonight from a concerned mother, who is divorced. I couldn'’t help but see the signs of the same syndrome, that seems to me to be one of the many side affects of divorce. Not just prevalent in divorce but more harmful to a child in a family divided by that invisible barrier only the wise take heed of, and learn from.

The mother upon learning of her twelve year old daughter'’s desire to acquire a expensive puppy, tries to impress upon her daughter that her desire is hers alone to fulfill, as in reality we have to gradually wean the little teenage "“ monsters"”. In other words the mother wants her to earn it. However the father has different ideas, he thinks the daughter is too young etc etc.

However the fact remains life dictates our wants can only really be supplied by our own work, our parents pass eventually, and money doesn'’t grow on trees planted by liberals and socialists. In reality in this society our wants directly fall in behind our duties -– taxes, bills a roof over our heads, being parents that pass on more than money.

What better way to foster character and a better grasp of who they are as an individual in a thinking young human being, then have them learn how to work from someone other than family ? They need to learn how it feels to be criticized, scrutinized by a boss who demands value from them without the hug afterwards, and being tired from more than watching Much Music or talking on the phone, and the clincher? Maybe failing; the most scary unpleasant feeling of the whole mix. Maybe they will learn a valuable lesson, and they will mature in more ways than just a birth date?

How could a father or a mother not want their child to grow in a natural way? While certainly being concerned that the hammer life can be doesn'’t make their child the anvil before they develope the mental hardness to take its blows.

The father is just delaying the inevitable, the mother wants to get it over and done with as life is with all certainly waiting to show what it has in store, and we all get to see in no uncertain fashion, how unpleasant some moments can be, and those moments to each and every individual are defining ones no question.

Those lessons, some of the most valuable are lost most easily to children between divorced parents, the arguments in many cases to the children are explained second hand, as they see one side at a time, and unfortunately I fear in most cases one parent takes the easy road and coddles, and "“dutifully"” says what the child wants to hear, just to be revered and thought of fondly or the best - that'’s cheating, and coming from an adult despicable and sad.

We aren'’t perfect , children aren'’t perfect, and life isn'’t perfect and the sooner a child learns to put a smile on their own face from those honourable moments in life that matter most when we really feel our smile, they will be better off. Just as a parent would be better off realizing we aren'’t going to be around forever , and our children can either cheat at life, or take what wisdom we as parents or concerned adults pass on and someday they as adults and parents connect the dots and realise what life is all about, and what duty a parent really has - to pass on lessons with caring and the knowledge that someday their child is going to be called upon to be an adult, and they aren'’t going to be around to protect them.

My greatest reward in life ?– The day my daughters realise why “I was "the sternest bastard in the world"”, because I loved them so much to be anything else and their beauty and value has only grown as they have. I truly believe even with the hardships, the temporary fears of not being a good parent, my daughters have given me more than I will ever be able to repay to them, and it is a disservice to their beauty, character, and honest innocence to shield them at 11 and 14 from what life has in store, good or bad.

In her post the mother talks of her sins. Where is the sin in reality, when it truly exists in denial?