I've Been Tagged Continued

Well since Lisa has chimed in I guess I'll try dig up twelve more things you may not know about me. If I knew I had twelve more spaces to fill I wouldn't have skipped to year eighteen.

9. (Back in high school) This is going to be a long one. Mom and Dad where away one weekend, and Saturday while I was playing monopoly with Van Halen playing in the back ground with my sister and another friend my bad influences came for a visit. They wanted to go to the Petrolia Fair to see the Chicago Knockers a female mud wrestling team. Well being a shy virginal zit faced honor student at the time, that played the Tuba I was reluctant at first but peer pressure prevailed and by the time we reached the village limits I had a blue to my lips and we where doing seventy miles an hour.
I was in the backseat giddy and free when we met a cruiser.We where doing eighty by now. Being fast thinking country boys of course half empty bottles of beer where quickly tossed from the car, all of them that is except mine which bounced off the door post and pasted beer all over me and the side of the car ( a complete girly man mark out) . Well we eventually came to a stop and Duff (you knew the cops names back then) proceeded to call us fucking crazy at the top of his lungs and commanded us to breath on him. We all got underage drinking a fifty five dollar fine (we where seventeen) and the driver got a hundred and seventy five dollar fine for speeding .
Fifteen minutes later we where at the beer store restocking the claimed beer and twenty minutes later we where in Petrolia dreaming of mud covered women wrestling ( the closest thing to lesbians back then). Low and behold while we waited by the flatbed trailer that was the stage, the manager came up and asked us to spot the side so the girls didn't slide off. Cool we thought little did I know a memory was about to be made. Mid way thru the match this one Knocker came sliding over towards us, and just like lions within reach of an easy meal 5 sets of hands made sure she didn't fall, or an inch of her body was left untouched. The funniest part - the manager came over afterwards realizing his stupidity half smiling telling us the idea was to stop them from falling not to grope them. We still got tee shirts and a free feel.

10. One day I was out shooting with my younger cousin, his older brother and his cousin the older boys had the semi auto 22's and we came to a creek where a toy boat had come to rest. Well Wyatt Erp and John Wayne unloaded the magazines of both guns into the boat while we all forgot about the 22 bullets ability to ricochet. A thousand feet down stream bullets where whizzing through Max Fauld's trees and he was charging up the creek bed when we seen him and ran. My cousins uncle came and gave the older boys a dressing down. That was that and four boys learned from their mistakes.

11. I hated the girl next door she seemed like such a whiny thing, I actually prayed at night they would move. If you can remember the real meaty dinky toys they used to make- the big honking ones well one day one hit her right in the forehead after she came over to brag like whats her name from Little House On The Prairie. I swear she must have idolized her. Funny thing is I had to square dance with her for the village centennial in 76 out at the old band shell at the ballpark. We eventually laughed when we got older and I hope shes doing well.

Okay I will try and stick with high school and try to get further on with my life.

12. I was an honor student until grade eleven . School became so boring , and I took a bad spell with rejection I turned into a bad ass not mean but skipped a lot and drank a lot . I said hell with school and I've been working full time since I was sixteen (I don't recommend it or the drinking either).

13. Never left home until I was engaged at 23 bought a hundred acre farm off the father and law and I lived happily for ten years and had two girls. The ex wife wasn't so happy however and asked me to leave after we sold the farm for a pretty profit and built a new home complete with shed with only eighty grand of debt we where supposed to be laughing - we weren't . I don't blame her for being pissed and the relationship dying looking back I was the perfect husband kid wise and loving home I just forgot about my wife. I was way more stubborn then and thought it prudent you live with your mistakes. The girls watched me live fairly peaceful with that one while I made another.

14. Moved in with a sexy lady with two girls my kids age and tried to make a family. I had a girl that hadn't seen her dad since she was three say "I love you" one night before bed, and give me a hug. She never took her not having her dad there out on my kids and she always seemed to understand when things got crazy and rotten there and if the truth be told the only reason I tried and make it work was because of her. I thought of her as my daughter I had four girls in a way and most times it was beautiful but you can't be all for everyone and if you fall for a woman that never had the benefit of a dad either and a hard life you won't be loved for trying to be all the best you can (they just don't understand). Families like that take way more than love. The youngest girl I never had the chance to bond with -we never had our moment(she was a beauty though), and I haven't seen either of them since it all flew to hell five years ago . I learned then why families are so fucked in this country- divorce and horny people. That period of my life I would have to say is my lowest(not the GOOD moments) but letting so many hearts down, and I've kept the dark side year to myself that one you can find out over a beer or a scotch.

15. I had this one fella named Wally Schram that worked for me he was an ox, he'd lift things by himself because he could he was a hard worker, like his dad before him . He'd bleed for you never even being asked even while his dip shit wife watched while children services and the cops kicked him out of the house for trying to get control of their oldest girl a problem child(oh to add insult to injury he had to go to anger management classes as well). He eventually wore out a year or so ago, and I listened to my boss the owner of the company say Wally was stupid and never looked after himself. I wish Ayn Rand was there to beat my boss upside the head for never seeing a real sacrifice that was made right in front of him. Money makes some people brazen , bold , and really clueless when it comes to real life. Needless to say the kid that looks after dad now is the problem child - his oldest daughter. She was labeled slow guess she wasn't so stupid after all? Oh and to any of you social types that think good men need to be berated for trying to" beat" the excuses out of their kids(you help put there) I'll have to politely say FUCK YOU..... really!

16. I watched my oldest daughter offer to leave the tip today at breakfast for the first time. Gods leaving lots of prizes these days.

17. This is for you Allison. I met a cute little Irish girl two years ago now. It took me 39 years to find out what real love is and what kind of woman I needed. Trouble is trying to wait till the kids are out on their own to get married.

18. Okay back to age seven . Sorry life's peaceful and boring now. If your familiar with little village coffee shops you'll know they are the main hub when it comes to the gossip about everyone else's problems but their own. Ours doubled as a gas station with an air pump just outside the window. One day I had a flat tire, and walked uptown to pump it up, never doing it before I never paid much attention to the 38 or so pounds dialed in to the pump and proceeded to pump away.
Ding .Ding. Ding. Ding.... Ding....Ding........BANG !!!!!! "Needless to say pretty well deaf and party blinded from flying gravel I sneaked away best I could. I only hope one of the loud mouth gossipers shit themselves from the explosion.

19. One Saturday afternoon while watching the Bugs Bunny show, the smell of homemade stew drifting through the well kept house. Mom Tracie and I where waiting for dad to return from the hunt(he was late) , we heard the door open "hunny I'm home" and a frozen rabbit came sailing thru the hallway right across the span of the house hitting the wall in front of us. Hell then descended on dad. They just celebrated their 42 wedding anniversary. In that time Dad received one black eye and a split lip from mom while he was being molded into a good husband.

20. We lived beside some real Christians ( they religiously went to church) one day my sister picked up a worm, the neighbors kids said " don't hurt it its one of God's creatures". My sister replied "do you think he'll mind if I slap it up a bit." They where five . I guess that wasn't as bad as the one neighbor boy that peed in my sisters mouth they where four he was a little bastard and still is but a good guy and father. His mother was beside herself at the time (first example of a modern liberal I think) during coffee hour the other moms had a good laugh including mine.

Life goes on.

I've been tagged

Well looks like a rural lady has politely prodded me to actually type something here for a change. I wouldn't want to let her down. So I guess I have to list 8 things people may not know about me.

1. One day my alcoholic grandfather was babysitting me ( I know but here I' am), and some power on high sent me to his chair poopy diaper in hand, looking to him to solve my problem. The lord works in mysterious ways.

2. When I was eight my best friends older brother was threatening to beat him up and chased him into our house. Mom and dad where working so I chased him out of the house with an unloaded BB gun.

3. Heres one thats good for other peoples ego. I sucked my thumb sporadically until grade seven. One day we where having an assembly where a dental hygienist comes in and scares you into looking after your teeth. She showed the slide of a kids teeth that chronically sucked their thumb and the ugly results, Raymond (who later in life stabbed a man) said hey that's Scott the whole student body had a good laugh. I sucked it up continued to read Sci-fi on the bus....sucking my thumb for a couple more years. I've often thought if raising a complaint with the human rights commission and suing the school board would bring on my early retirement , after all I could fake a nervous tick.

4. I was president of the model rocket club in grade eight. We had a model rocket show where everyone launched the rockets they built,the whole school was outside watching . My one rocket had a glider that popped off when the ejection charge fired to deploy the chute. I put the glider on in a hurry not paying attention to the center of gravity. When it launched instead of roaring a thousand feet in the air it made it about a hundred feet up, and flew horizontal right over the crowd...... they clapped, I silently said thank you God and headed for the washroom.

5. There was this one incident in a corn field...... nah.

6. In high school I watched a friend walk up sobbing his soul out to a grieving mother at the graveside to try and say sorry for driving the car her son died in ...... she hugged him , and he showed us what having balls meant.

7. On the verge of eighteen went over to the dark side put my parents (family) through hell, not proud of it but never the less been there done that and thats that. Life goes on and you live with your stupidity.

8. As far as I know my biggest accomplishment will be my children there on their way to being women and thats fine.

Should have been twenty things I guess hey Leslie?